Why this military dad and Navy spouse is embracing being a ‘manpendent’
David Carrera is the 2020 Armed Forces Insurance Navy Spouse of the Year. He lives in Okinawa, Japan, with his wife, Navy Lt. Cmdr. Aidith Flores Carrera, and their son, Benicio. (David Carrera)
In 2004, David Carrera was in a Florida art museum trying to find his way out of a never-ending conversation with an elderly woman.
That’s when he noticed another woman walking toward him, talking on the phone in a distinct Cuban accent.
Carrera, also Cuban-American, pretended to know her so that he could escape the chitchat and continue through the exhibit.
“I just stood up I’m like, ‘Oh here’s my friend.’ I looked at her and said, ‘Hey are you ready to go? I’ve been waiting for you for at least 20 minutes.’”
Though initially confused, Aidith Flores played along. And, eventually the two would start dating, get married, and Carrera would join the ranks of the 14,000 men that make up 10 percent of the population of U.S. Navy spouses.
Carrera recently was awarded the accolade of the Armed Forces Insurance Navy Spouse of the Year, in part for his efforts to help male military spouses find their tribe and connect from anywhere in the world through his Manpendent.com website and Facebook group. He joined The Spouse Angle podcast for the June 17 episode to share his experiences, including what it was like to take care of his then-toddler son when his wife deployed.
“I could see her walking to the plane. I’m just looking at my son and flipping him over looking if there’s like an instruction manual tucked in his diaper or something,” he said. “There wasn’t.”
While Carrera doesn’t mind being a minority in female-dominated military spouse groups, he does see unique challenges for men like him. Although he’s been able to transition his career as a TV producer through every move, others haven’t been so lucky.
“There’s a lot of egos that are crushed especially when you either come overseas, you have to move every three years,” he said. “A lot of guys that I’ve met sometimes have trouble with that.'“
“You grow up your dad says, ‘You take care of your wife and your kids and you make sure everything’s good.’ Well, if you’re in the middle of the desert somewhere stationed where there is no work or no opportunity, it’s going to be very difficult to live up to that standard that you think everybody else has. And it’s really just in your head. It’s not like that at all.”