Army spouse: Why ‘Afghanistan is like a member of my family’
Rebekah Sanderlin, second from left, with her children. (Rebekah Sanderlin)
President Joe Biden’s announcement that U.S. troops will be out of Afghanistan by Sept. 11 has been met with mixed support — not just from lawmakers and politicians, but also military families who have spent the better part of their lives together affected by the wars in the Middle East.
For Rebekah Sanderlin, the wife of a recently retired soldier, “it’s a bittersweet disbelief,” she told The Spouse Angle. “I don’t think it’s good news, I don’t think it’s bad news. And I also don’t believe it’ll happen.”
Sanderlin was a guest on Season 2, Episode 14 of the podcast, where she shared how Afghanistan has impacted nearly every major and minor decision in her life over the past 18 years of marriage to her husband, who retired as an Army Special Forces command sergeant major in 2020.
He deployed to Afghanistan several times, totaling about five or six years, she said. It’s why she gave birth, buried her father and gave up her career alone.
But throughout her husband’s career, Sanderlin said she got to know more about Afghanistan and fell in love with the country and the Afghan people, especially those her husband worked with on his various missions. It’s why she feels like Afghanistan is a part of her family, a sentiment she first shared on Twitter in April.
“Early into really his first deployment to Afghanistan in 2004, I had just given birth to our oldest child,” she said on the podcast. “He deployed two weeks after the baby was born. And I decided that if I could potentially lose the love of my life and alter the course of my family and my life because of this war, then I want to know as much as I could know about it.”
Sanderlin started reading books about Afghanistan, learning more about different regions of the country and the past Soviet and British invasions.
“I wanted to know why we were there, what we were doing and who these people were,” she said. “I can say unequivocally in my family, my husband and I and our kids, we love Afghanistan. We don’t love him being there. We don’t love my husband being gone, but we have a great affection and compassion for the people who live there. And so why I say that Afghanistan is like a member of my family, I mean it in the sense that I have a real heart for those people.”
Sanderlin said she personally doesn’t see U.S. withdrawal going well for the Afghan people and wonders will what happen to the women she’s come to know — women like Fatima who has sewn and sent gifts for Sanderlin’s family.
It’s a concern many have echoed since Biden’s announcement.
"I think it's an impossible situation, given the challenges facing the Afghan government and the Afghan National Security Forces and the Taliban," U.S. Rep. Jeanne Shaheen, D-New Hampshire, recently told CNN. "It's difficult to see a scenario that doesn't end in civil war or a Taliban takeover."
The president said the U.S. will continue to provide humanitarian and other support to Afghanistan.
However, "we cannot continue the cycle of extending or expanding our military presence in Afghanistan — hoping to create ideal conditions for the withdrawal and expecting a different result,” he said.